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FUN in L.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funnymeat — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 19:46:00 +0000

Here are some pictures of us in L.A. before and after our Comedy Central Stage show. Enjoy!
xoxMEATxox

BIG MEAT NEWS

funnymeat — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 18:12:00 +0000

Hello Friends, Family and Fans, The Ladies of MEAT are pleased to announce that we have some wonderful news to share with you.

1. SEMI-FINALISTS IN A BIG CONTEST - VOTE FOR MEAT
2. A RUN AT UCB ON FRIDAY NIGHTS
3. NEW MOVIE!

We also really need your help big time!!!!!!!("Oh, super! I love helping! It makes me feel magical and warm, knowing that in my own little way, I'm making the world a better place.")

You are my hero! See below for more info!

Thanks to all for your continued support. Every little bit really does matter. We sincerely hope that you enjoy what we do and that MEAT is a positive force out there (at least for women in comedy).

Loving You,MEAT

1. THIS THURSDAY, AUGUST 24th, vote for MEAT in the New York TV Festival ~ Sponsored by IFC & MSN.
Your vote will help us make history by becoming the first all female sketch group on US television and get that much closer to filming our pilot. Yeah dreams! We've already been selected to the top 50 (from thousands of applicants), now we need your help to make it to the final round!!! "The finalists emerging from this online competition will be invited to pitch their idea in front of a celebrity panel of executives live at the 2006 Festival. The winner of this final event will receive a deal from a network partner of the NYTVF to create an original pilot program from the winning pitch."If you'd like to see our pitch in advance, (apparently we look "hot") here are the steps:

Video.msn.com
Click on the "Entertainment" tab.
Under "Specials", click on NYTVF
We are page 3.

Thursday is the ONLY day you can vote for MEAT. Voting runs 12 a.m. - 12 a.m. PST (3 a.m. - 3 a.m. EST) Each pitch is only eligible for voting one day (Thursday Aug 24th, MEAT)

When the time comes, click here and vote! http://tv.msn.com/nytvf/contest

And if you can forward this to your friends and ask them to vote for us, it would be an enormous help.

2. A RUN AT UCB ON FRIDAY NIGHTS
Please come out and see us! Bring your friends! Then let's all hang out after and party! Some of us are single and all of us are easy... to get along with! There will be lots of industry and press at this highly coveted spot, and we need your love.

MEAT at UCBFridays @ 8PM: Sept 1st, 8th, 15th & 22nd
Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre: 307 W. 26th St. (& 8th Ave)
Only $8

THANK YOU!

3. WE HAVE ANOTHER NEW MOVIE!
It's called "The Original IQ Tester" and we think you'll enjoy it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20xZ58RzzZw

Thanks again everybody, and have a great day!MEAT

Check this out

funnymeat — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 17:05:00 +0000

MEAT fans...you will like this.

http://www.chiokenassor.com/jeangrae.html

Call It Democracy

funnymeat — Wed, 24 May 2006 20:47:00 +0000

Monday, June 5th at 6PM, will be the New York Festival Premier of CALL IT DEMOCRACY as part of the Brooklyn International Film Festival at the Brooklyn Museum. For information and directions:
http://wbff.org/films/detail.asp?fid=635

200 Eastern Parkway - 11238 Brooklyn, NY - 2/3 Train to Brooklyn Museum
http://www.brooklynmuseum.org

Buy tickets here: http://www.acteva.com/booking.cfm?bevaID=111716#10

CALL IT DEMOCRACY has been orchestrally scored and fully updated. PLEASE post this notice to your lists, your friends, everyone old enough to register to vote in next five years, and anyone in the press, large or small. CALL IT DEMOCRACY is a dialog trigger to election reform. It's the perfect film to educate yourself and watch with with friends with whom you politically disagree. Your kind words, thoughts and conversation are our publicity.

The screening will start at 6pm after two short films. 6:20 Probable Start Time.

VARIETY
" With an impressive array of expert testimony, "Call It Democracy" thoughtfully probes events surrounding the U.S. presidential election of 2000. Far from being another attack on the election's much-disputed results, it's an illuminating and engrossing non-partisan look at the longstanding need to address issues including voters' rights and election reform. It could easily find a home on PBS, CNN, the History Channel or a major network.

Blending man-on-the-street comments with reflections from legal and
political experts and journalists from all sides of the spectrum, "Call
It Democracy" doesn't repeat Michael Moore's indignant "How could it
happen?" battle cry. Instead, helmer Matt Kohn operates from the
premise that with an Electoral College system, of course it could
happen. Commentators including Alan Dershowitz, Vincent Bugliosi and
former Senator Birch Bayh (D-IN) examine important historical events,
including the 1960 Kennedy vs. Nixon campaign, George Wallace's
attempted manipulation of the Electoral College in 1968, and prior
elections when the popular vote did not prevail. Kohn supplements the
piece with fresh footage from the November 2004 election and raises
compelling questions about the perils of electronic voting."-By LAEL
LOEWENSTEIN

The New York Times
“The result is not only a very personal rehashing of the events… from a
multitude of opinions (scholars, scientists, politicians, and everyday
citizens), but a poignant reminder that election reform may be needed
to preserve voting rights in an era of butterfly ballots and
computerized voting machines” – Tracie Cooper

Ain’t It Cool News by Albert Lanier
“A soup to nuts approach to its subject. Whereas other docs might skimp here or skimp there on facts, Kohn provides an extremely watchable, highly relevant doc… finds its strength in research, effective interview scenes and intelligent argumentation of its positions… There are interesting facts and arguments abounding… highly stimulating intellectually due to its clear ability to articulate the inherent problems and dilemmas facing the voting process this year and perhaps in years to come…. although the major parties, political advocacy groups and every other kind of political organization under the sun says that every vote counts, it is very clear that they do not count every vote.”

Burger King

funnymeat — Mon, 15 May 2006 00:33:00 +0000

Dear Burger King.

In reference to your new "Manthem" commercial...Go fuck yourself.

I will not be eating your burgers.

Why not take a song like "We Shall Overcome" and change it to "We Shall Over Indulge" and instead of marching to DC to make a stand for Civil Rights...ummmm..how about you are all marching to Burger King to get a burger?

Oh...that would be offensive? But mocking the women's movement is fine? Cause you know, the women's movement for rights was nothing to take seriously, right?

Go fuck yourselves.

xoxo, Biz

MEAT Got a TV Deal!

funnymeat — Sun, 19 Mar 2006 03:28:00 +0000

Guess what, MEAT took a meeting with NBC last week and landed their first big deal!

The show is called:

BIG FAT STUPID DOUCHE BAG AND SKINNY WIFE!

It's about a big fat stupid douche bag who is hilarious and stupid. He has an unremarkable job and lives an unremarkable life, in a house across the street from his parents.

And his skinny wife.

Followed by JOEY.

And the sneak peek of Tuesday night's season premiere episode of BIG FAT STUPID DOUCHE BAG AND PRETTY WIFE.

Go fuck yourselves.

MEAT

Lobsters can't fly!

funnymeat — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:44:00 +0000

Wow! Furlobster

funnymeat — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 15:34:00 +0000

So check out the CRAZY new sea creature they found!

Wow! It looks sort of like a tick with long hairy legs.

Like a furlobster.

My excitement for this new creature is only overshadowed by my jaded mind and the knowledge that within the year, "furlobster" will become just another name for a woman's vagina.

Soon, up and down the beaches where this amazing and beautiful creature lives just below the waves, washed up pot heads will sell shirts that say "Let me discover your furlobster" or "Furlobsters are better when they are wet" to drunken frat boys who aren't quite sure what the shirts mean but think the idea of "fur" is hilarious.

Now check this out!

Feels like Spring

funnymeat — Fri, 17 Feb 2006 20:48:00 +0000

The sun is deceptive. I am at my desk at work and the sun is out and it has a vibe of spring because it is still light outside (which it should be at 3:45) but I feel like it is 5:00 already so it SEEMS like spring.

Its is actually 37 degrees. Sigh

On another note....we are t-minus 1 hour and 10 minutes till Friday Beer.

Who wants to see a hilarious picture of my cat Louise.

Things I am doing at work other than work

funnymeat — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 21:04:00 +0000

1. Writing on this blog.
2. IMing with Stefan
3. Playing1.5 hours of Jeopardy and stopped once the questions repeated...only after kicking ass in Jeopardy because of questions repeating.
4. Playing Family Fued.
5. Getting furious that Family Fued answers are LAME AND STUPID AND CLEARLY GIVEN BY MORONS!
6. Picking at Special K Fruit and Yogurt cereal, defeating it dieting benefits when eaten slowly over the course of 8 hours.
7. Played Wheel of Fortune, but stopped as it was beneath me.
8. Booked Hertz Rental car for boss and felt good about myself and what a great job I am doing.
9. Read Elephant Larry's blog pretended I was Geoff.
10. Drank 4 bottles of water in attaempt to "purify" myself.

Biz

Who doesn't love Powerpoint?

funnymeat — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 14:39:00 +0000

More....thats what is happening here...more.

You know its not easy being the only person who writes posts for TWO blogs that are supposed to be shared blogs, aka, "Lets all write in these blogs together!"

thhhpt.

This one here is entitled: "You Wish"

Ha ha ha ha ha! sigh

This is me if I were a d-bag magician "slash" comic from Alabama who steals peoples blogs. (I can't seem to let this go. see www.kukoda.com under the Thievery posting for more details.)

Finally here is a dream come true: MegaForce staring Stefan and Biz

More Powerpoint

funnymeat — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 21:13:00 +0000

Wow....these really suck.

Enjoy.

Ok, here is one entiteld: Baz killed the music.

I think the title is obvious.

OK...this is what it would look like if Baz was a giant peanut fighting himself as a giant hotdog. Terrifying! Could this be the future?

This is what Reggei would look like as a hot dog who wants to hug. She doesn't look very happy to be a hot dog. But she is so delicious looking and I love hot dogs. ohhhhhh!

Here i am looking thin and pissed off as a secretary. Nothing funny about this as I am a secretary and usually that pissed off.

What if Baz and Stefan had a baby! HILARIOUS! They are so in love.

Good bye!

Biz

Biz Presents a Powerpoint Tribute To Baz

funnymeat — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 15:39:00 +0000

Love is in the air and the MEAT love is flowing heavy towards our beloved Baz from The Animal Club.

This kind man edited our footage from Chicago together and even put it up on our website for us....BRINGING MEAT INTO THE 21ST CENTURY!

We couldn't think of a better escort.

So you can now bask in Baz's editing work and three of your favorite MEAT sketches on our VIDEO page!

You can also check out Baz and the other animals on www.theanimalclub.com.

And now for my latest and most awful powerpoint presentations, this time in a tribute to BAZ!

First out we have the BAZintine:

Wow! That bee is crazy looking and lookit..that monkey is reading.

Ok next we have the more traditional slide..I call it "peeping baz cat."

It is funny cause there is a cat.

Black Bike Week

funnymeat — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 20:53:00 +0000

Ok, I found this event...I look for events for me and Stefan to do that are a bit out there....this one is probably out of our league....obviously because we don't have bikes.

Well, maybe we'll go.

Anyway, the website is incredible. I am not being ironic...this is incredibly cool!

On the home page there is this one posting...well...here it is.

This is totally the kind of show MEAT would get booked at and LOVE. :)

Oh...yes, there are two 10's. I think somebody added on to Big Nasty's list on the message board.

UPDATED SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 10, 2006HOW TO PREPARE FOR BLACK BIKE WEEK - HERE ARE 10 TIPS YOU MIGHT WANT TO FOLLOW

Date: May 24-29, 2006
Place: Myrtle Beach, SC
Here is a funny post ..that came from a discussion board member nicknamed "Big Nasty"

In preparation of bike week this year, my personal trainer has given me a strict regiment for the next 10 days.

I am going to share this information so that others may also benefit from being mentally, physically and spiritually ready for Memorial Day Weekend.

May 15 - May 20:
1) Drink 1.5 - 2 gallons of water a day. Flush the kidneys preparing for upcoming toxens
2) Eliminate all white carbs (potatoes, pasta, white bread)
3) Replace white carbs with protien (chicken, fish, turkey, protien bars & shakes) Carb Depletion will help you rest up
4) Get 12 consectutive hours of sleep per day Don't plan on sleeping in the hotel
5) Obstain from all se**ual activities (including mas***bation)Fellas you don't want to come back with the BDR (Bad D*ck Report)

May 21- May 22:
6) Wash all clothes
7) Wash your bike
8) Clean your house
9) Spark an argumentwith you significant other if applicable - You are more likely to have more fun if you've recently argued with you mate

May 23 - Men:
10) Go to the bank and withdrawn $2000-$4500 for the ladies - 65% in large denominations & the rest in small denominationsMay 23 - Ladies:
10) Throw away any underwear that cannot be classified as "Thong or T-Back or V-String" If any that you were planning to bring would have been classified as "bloomers" please stay at home. Sorry?

May 24- ALL if applicable:
11) Make up with your significant other- You don't want to have to worry about what they are at home doing.

May 24:
Get the hell out of town!

Pack LOTION.Ocean water is salty. You will not get any love if you are ashy and glowing in the dark.

For all the bruthas packing dem blue diamonds, remember to avoid all greasy food at least 3 days prior to using them.Greasy food will limit "the blue pills" ability to give you those prolonged "MAN-ness" that your looking for. So nothing fried. Fast food options - your best bet is Chick-fil-a. This also holds true for dem "brown diamonds" and the "weekenders". Ya'll can thank me later.

Here is the link. Enjoy! If anyone has ever been to this please share!

xoxo, Biz

Livia on the front page of the NY Times!

funnymeat — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 20:48:00 +0000

Ok, its the front page of the Sunday Style section of the NY times....and its totally sweet!

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/29/fashion/sundaystyles/29Comedy.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

This is the web version, which is pretty sweet that they used her pic both on the web and in the paper.

How rad! We are super proud of Livia.

YAY!